sarcasm needs its own font
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
