all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I love you. Go after that dick
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
