he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
