i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
