I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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