we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
