he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
