butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
