You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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