I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
