Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
