how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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