i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
