I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Randomize
