This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
