He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Text me some of your sweat
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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