We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
You are the jesus of drinking
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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