was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
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