thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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