I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
dude. I can hear the air.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
