I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
of course. lets lasso hookers.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
