Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
