I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
