i permit you to call me
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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