The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
