I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
