i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
