is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize