You just made me feel so damn special
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
