loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize