The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Randomize
