Is it normal to miss your booty call?
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
