too bad you live with your parents still
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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