The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
