fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
