i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
