I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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