that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
