so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
