3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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