The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize