Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I love you.
Bad choice
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
