I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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