Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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