I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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