some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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