so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Holy shit dude........stairs
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