So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize