Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
