So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
