Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
