if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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