Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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