You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
