I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
