sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
