sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
