I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize