i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
