i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
