He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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