hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
