I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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