you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Drunk is not a location!
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