can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
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