Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Randomize
