if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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