I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize