He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
